Monday, July 25, 2005

An Open Letter

Dear Hormones,

I know there is a lot going on with my body lately and I know you are enjoying the little party you are throwing in there, but it has come to my attention that I think you are abusing your privileges. I am usually totally cool with you since you only come around once a month and really don't cause that much havoc, but lately it seems that is all you have been doing. For example, my face has now become one big pimple. You also have pimples popping up in places that I didn't know a pimple could grow. They are also the kind that are impossible to get rid of and make up can't cover. The other issue I have is the one you are causing in my stomach. Didn't they teach you in hormone school that it is called Morning Sickness, not ALL DAY sickness. Please can you give that part a rest. I have another child you needs my attention and doesn't want a mommy who can't even fix her lunch because it looks gross. I understand that I will have to deal with your lengthy visit, but maybe we can come to some kind of compromise. I am willing to deal with your issues on the days my child goes to school, so maybe every Tuesday and Thursday you can make me sick? Just trying to come up with ways we can live with each other. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me and hopefully we can come up with a working relationship for the next 7 months.

Your host and friend,

PS- Facials rock and I will be starting a petition in the near future to make it mandatory for all women to receive one on the government's dime :)