Thursday, May 19, 2005

Having a Hard Time

Okay well I have decided to let my guard down and to be real honest in this post. I guess this would be the place to do it since I am sure there are tons of you going through or have gone through what I am now. These last couple of weeks have been really rough for me. My child and I battle it out everyday and I just can not take it anymore. Yesterday was the turning point for me because I realized that maybe I am a big part of the problem when I thought it was the other way around. I signed Julia up for this T-ball class thinking that she would like the action of it. Turns out it was one coach for ten 3 years olds so there was a lot of sitting and waiting. Hello? What 3 year old will sit for 15 min and wait their turn? So I have been making her go and she tells me everytime she doesn't want to. Well yesterday I had just had it and we left in the middle of class. I was mad, but then I thought this was me making her do something she didn't want to do. Why was I mad? Then of course I thought about it before I went to sleep and it made me cry. It just has been such a struggle lately for us to that I feel I forgot how to be a good mom. I miss that part of me. I also wonder why she wants her Daddy all the time. I wouldn't want to be around me either :) So I have decided that I need to let go some of my issues and try to understand that life doesn't always have to prefect. Bear with me while I get over myself.

Thanks for reading.